After 6 weeks of hanging out with just my family I have started to unravel a bit.

(PS. I'm feeling more motivated and content now, but I wrote this post 2 weeks ago and forgot to post it).

If there was any doubt that I'm an extrovert, 47 days of hanging out with only my family proves that I am.

If you exclude the Dorm Outbreaks - seeing as the dorms have been in Quarantine for quite some time now - the Singapore COVID-19 numbers are under 20/day and declining steadily. We're more than 4 weeks into our version of lock-down, but we still have at least 3.5 weeks to go with Essential Services only.

I know we are totally privileged and sitting here in the best of circumstances. Financially our situation is the same as pre-COVID. Jonathan is even able to take a bit of time off to make working from home easier. We don't have to worry about meeting distance learning school requirements, because we were independently homeschooling. We even have someone to help out here so we never have to take the kids near a store.

But my extroverted tendencies are definitively being felt strongly now. I'm rattling around our house. I'm sure I'm driving everyone a little crazy.

I read 8 novels in April, but now I'm crawling through my current book.

I'm not into crafting or painting at the moment and I'm over spending any time sewing. We bought a converter so I have the use of my sewing machine, but I don't have much fabric on hand. I've made our masks and even some PJ pants for the kid, but I'm not inspired to more.

I don't want to sit anymore. I don't want to be inside anymore.

We aren't allowed to sit anywhere in public. All chairs have been removed from condos and park benches have caution tape and do not sit signs on them. I try sitting out on our private patio. It's about 5x7 ft in full sun. Even before 10 am I am dripping with sweat from the heat and humidity sitting out there. I sit there anyhow. Across the narrow canal, I see the same guy everyday on his condo patio, doing exactly the same thing as me.

I notice most people have their window sheers closed for privacy and to keep the heat down. I have ours wide open. We're torn between leaving the doors and windows open for the fresh air; and putting on the aircon. With aircon on, it feel feels more like we are locked in the house, but it does save us from sweaty cranky children.

I've tried walks, but no one wants to come. Well MsI usually wants to go, but only so much company at the age of 2. After I fight the other kids outside, one usually completely balks and back in we go. I feel bad leaving 3 kids cooped up in the House with our Helper while I go out for a walk.

We're also supposed to stay in or very close to home. A number of the paths I take around here are actually private property and so have now been closed and taped off. If people loitered there, the owner of the property could be fined.

I'm so tired of seeing the same stretch of walk every single day as the choices for walking seems to have shrunk to the beautiful, yet repetitive, Boardwalk along the Harbourfront. I could go along the main road, but I don't like the kids out where the cars are so fast and close; it's also way hotter away from the water.

Canada's evening is our morning in Singapore, so I try to call someone in the morning, but the afternoon and evening here feels very isolating knowing most everyone is sleeping.

MsC, the extrovert, finds the outside too stressful and the inside not stimulating enough. She tries Zoom and video chat, but isn't really enough, and the little ones will not follow her complex rules of play for long.

Thank goodness we got our Helper (live in maid) before the Lockdown, because besides my now clean house, it has been wonderful to have someone to talk to. She's always playing some game with one of the girls or someone is in the kitchen helping her make up a snack. Just like me, the girls are happy to have someone else to chat with.

The introverts of the family, Jonathan and MsE, are looking pretty content.

They spend a lot of time independently in their rooms. Jonathan both works and relaxes in the bedroom. He says his commute is the one foot from the desk chair to the bed. We make them eat in the dining room with the rest of us. MsE actually waits till we're done eating and then comes to eat when we leave the table - too many people, too much noise. She likes to wear her headphones to cut us out, even if she's not listening to anything. Jonathan has noise cancelling headphones. MsE likes to spend her time in her circus tent, in her high bed-topped tent or in the tent under her bunk bed.

I can only get MsE outside every 2nd or 3rd day. Home just has all the things she likes to do. Since adults have to go out alone, Jonathan only goes out for jogging and that is only every 2nd day for like 1/2 an hour. If he takes a break from jogging, he might go out once for a few moments once a week. Just thinking about it makes me feel squirrely.

I am realizing that my pre-COVID goal of 3 hours of outside time a day for the kids, may have had as much to do with me as with the kids.

I just want to go somewhere, anywhere. I'd like to stop and chat with someone. Instead I breeze past everyone we know with a little wave so that I don't break the rules.

Historically, I woke up every morning and asked, "what do you want to do today?, to which I really meant "Where should we go?" One of the kids would offer an opinion, sometimes there would be a little debate at the breakfast table, but then we would just all go.

Removing that question is pretty life changing for me.